Chips

Brothers, sisters, supersmart chickens that have learnt to use keyboards, we know you're out there... Dunno about you guys but we at The BLD haven't been able to get the hang of this week at all. It's been splendid, yes, but rather wonky. Wonky is the word. There has been a general theme of wonkness about the last couple days it seems.

So we've decided to ignore real world antics for a while and focus on that which matters most - head, bed and hedonism. You should join us.

In preparation for a weekend of indulgences Tonight (Thursday 28th August) we're all off to The Montague Arms for some merry punkery by way of The Apostates, Local Mad Man and Lucky Scars. Doors is at 8 and cover is £3. This little shindig is a fundraiser for next months humongous punk fest that's gonna tear south east London a new new one, The Boozin Of The 5000. Come pogo, your pennies is much needed!

Manana sees the return of Rar! to The Albany, and as ever they've gone for a trendyelectro tip. Old school is fuckin everywhere right now, evidenced further by the headlining slot of 90's dance chart botherers n-trance. Fucking A! Plus they gots A1 Baseline, Dogshow and Toy Toy on stage and Dean Tynan and Stereo Slapper on decks. Possibly the best all ages show in London, Rar!'s become something of a disco institute in these here parts and is sure to be rammed with kids and bigger kids alike. Get there for 7ish and bring a fiver with.

Then chums, the big one. Offset Festival once again smacks itself in the middle of Hainault Forest for the weekend! Two days, seven stages, a shitload of excellent bands (plus Fightstar...) and the tix a cheap as fuck! Pop Shop are playing the same stage as Gang Of Four! Johnny Foreigner are opening for Wire! WTF?!? There's a wealth of other greatness awaiting, get over to the Offset site and cancel any other weekend plans you might have had.

Jazz Action!

So the bank holiday shenanigans are sadly over, the festivals, funfairs, carnivals, revelry and riots have all been cleaned up; time then for us to plod on with the rest of the gig week...

Things be getting good tomorrow with yet another warm cuddly musical embrace Spoon Of Music style! These ever edgy finger-on-the-pulsists are back at The Windmill for another Wednesday wondercast, and in the interest of keep things fresh they're heading in a funkyswingyjazz direction. The Kingsize Five bring their retro/future fusions to an unsuspecting stage, go off it shalllllll! The Bridge, funkier-then-thou funsters are in main support and Kinzli's lushess lounge antics shall get things going. Groovy fucking times!

So, the instructions are simple it seems - Go to Brixton for 8 o'clock, pay the kindly, kissable door folk £4 to enter, drink and dance yo' fuggin ass off, go home with ringing ears and shit eating grins on faces!

OOooooooHhh!

Como estas señoras hermosa y el gaupos? Wad Gwan?

So it seems we've not been around much on this site for the last week; so distraught by the cessation of Polite Riot we've been holed up lamenting it's end and making plans for future funs. Fans of all things punk need not fear though, the Polite Riot crew will be back with one last class blast in September - the awesome punk weekender that has bibulously been baptised 'The Boozin' Of The 5000'. This crassly titled community minded punkfete takes over 4 south east London venues on 6th & 7th September, will feature like 100 bands, and all shows shall be freeeee! The fest will be raising money for three local charities, will also feature satellite book, culture, record and food fairs and should be nought but fooking fantastic! There'll be loads more info here soon...

Other festive stuff that we're getting involved in - ARTFUL is back in October! Again the pres are being made, loads of great shows of all varieties have been booked and there'll be loads of DIY creative mayhem kicking by. Check out the ARTFUL site or come back here soon, we'll be running loads of features on this bad boy...

So anyways, the future's looking pretty rosey, let's bring ting back to the motherfucking now...

We've excitedly just updated two of our fantastic photographers profiles, check out the eye bleedingly good new shots from Monsieurs McIlhiney and Hewitt-Lock. We're pretty sure you'll dig. Our finger-on-the-pulse, fact-finding friend Fish has recently collared the lovely William boys for an indepth interview, and reveal all the certainly did! Go read...

So, that brings us to tonight's tomfoolery - two tempting shows looking for yo' love...

Two Bob continue their excellent Thursday night Fox n' Firkin frolics with Their Hearts Were Full Of Spring, Yokoko and Lucy O' Driscoll. Show starts at 8, entry is a credit crunch friendly fuck all, and beers is cheeeeeeap!

A simultaneous shindig takes place at New Cross Inn courtesy of South Eats London. Their party antics kick off at 9 and features Attack/Switch/Attack, Dirty Fingernails and Cop On The Edge plus DJs and shit till the early am. Another free show!

Couldn't find flyers for either of these shows, so we thought we'd stick a picture here of someone else refusing to fly...

Last one out please switch off the lights!

32 weeks. 35 shows. 89 bands. And so with that tally firmly notched on the headboard, and with some sadness, we put Polite Riot to bed, folks.

The last eight months have been a blast. When we were approached last year to put on a weekly punk night at the New Cross Inn I don’t think any of us here at BLD towers expected it to be the success it has been which can be in no small way credited to the efforts of the legend that is Chris Goodman. From feeble protests of “I can only help out, mate, I’m far too busy” he's really grabbed the torch and has shot off laughing into the distance, bringing quality line-up after quality line-up to tear the NXI stage a new asshole. Polite Riot really has become his baby.

As with many people, for us time has become a problem. New jobs, new priorities, you know the story. So something has had to give and unfortunately that something has had to be Polite Riot. But we all agree we’ve had a hell of a time putting this party on. We’ve made some great new friends out of it and have seen some incredible bands along the way. The memories are fond, from watching Mike 3FP have a shot after every song, to Our Time Down Here, Shitty Limits & Bastion tearing the place apart on the same bill, to both times when Zatopeks did exactly the same, to Captain Hotknives making a packed New Cross Inn piss themselves laughing and Billy No Mates breaking the bar take record at the Deptford Arms! Oh, and let’s not forget the F-BATS stripping horn section – Honest it was cold, mate! Happy days.

So this Wednesday (13th August) the curtain falls and we have for you what we feel is the perfect farewell show. We have an opening turn from the mighty Cavity Search, but we have the welcome return of two bands who blew away any expectations we may have had and have planted themselves well and truly in our hearts – Just Panic and Los Salvadores. If you haven’t seen these bands before, we more than recommend you come down the Inn to check these bad boys out… we demand it.  

So before we wrap up this saccharine fistfuck of sentimentality there’s a bunch of people to thank, without whom Polite Riot wouldn’t be the night it is. Big up to Kate and Tris for getting us to throw this soiree, George and Phil for being the perfect hosts week in week out, major fucking props to Ben Stuart: Soundman Extrordinaire™ who has been the backbone of these shows, to all the bands and DJ’s who’ve graced the stage but most of all to everyone who’s come to Polite Riot and has partied like it’s 1977. Fucking pissheads.

See you at the front.

Brannigan's Law...

Holy shitfuck! So it seems the skies have just opened, raindrops the size of testicles are splashing down all around us as south east London scurries about it's bewitching business. Raincoats are donned and scowls of acerbic disapproval mounted as we all make our way through this most perfunctory of Thursdays. The preparations are being made, friends, for another most fabulous of Friday nights...

The gorgeous Irish BLD sometime associate Rah has lined up a party of unparalleled calibre at The Birds Nest, Deptford's finest artbox funfair. A seriously unbefuckinglievable showcase awaits, with none other then Mr. Rodney Brannigan at it's helm! If you missed this guy at our recent Made In Deptford gig then the time for tears is over, coz he's back with us and seriously, you really need to go watch this guy. He plays two guitars at once with jaw dropping precision and is literally the BEST musician we have EVER encountered. Like better-then-Hendrix good. Seriously. He's amazing. Really really fucking amazing. His talent is probably beyond the realms of human possibility, my theory is that he somehow tricked Satan out of Robert Johnsons soul then sold it back to him. Clearly the only rationale for an ability such as his.

Reason enough to party indeed, but there be much much more! The original anti-folk oddity David Goo shall be in tow, himself a trés apt ariaslinger. Joining them shall be John Fairhurst, Andy Taylor (the Deptford legend, not the one from Duran Duran - he was busy being shit elsewhere...) and Brittany Tkachuk, although, to be honest, we're not quite sure who she is...

So yeah, get down to The Nest for 8ish, Friday 8th August - the show is free and shall be quite simply fucking phenomenal!

More Mid-Week Mischiefs!

Cowabunga! Another Wednesday of Windmill vs New Cross Inn fun awaits! Decisions, decisions...

Spoon Of Music are Brixton bound with another brace of eclectic/electric rock actioneers, all starting at 8. This month's line up runs:

I Am The Arm, The Vinyl Stitches, The Sans Pareil and Blue Condition, all for a neat £4 cover.

Meanwhile, back where it matters, New Cross Inn, we bring you the penultimate outing of Polite Riot! We're sure the news has already reached your ears of the sad cessation of our weekly punk party, head Rioter Chris is off to concentrate on new business and musical opportunities, and much luck to him is wished! We've got Red; The Resistance, The Ruined and The Quarry up this week so swing by and fire off the farewells! Starts at 8, entry is freeeeeeee!

Oh yeah - just to further diffuse your decision making, The Dragons Ball is dropping at The Green Dragon in Croydon on this same night. They've got The Display Team and Arcane Roots playing, another free show starting at 8. Choose wisely then friends!

Mid-Week Mischiefs...

Wowzerz is it hot today!?! Our office fans are weeping under their burden, we at BLD towers are all naked, smothered in ice cream and are still sweaty little gig pimps! Not to grumble though, Janice from accounts has some quite lovely boobies...

So in order to add to your lustful latherings we bring you news of two excellent shows on Wednesday (30th July) that're sure to make you moist and merry!

Polite Riot! shall again be punkin' about the New Cross Inn with one of the best line ups yet wethinks! Austrian punker legends Rentokill shall be playing, part of their current European tour in support of hotter-then-summer-fucking new record Antichords, cantfrigginwait! Scouse hardcore positive provocatuers Chief mark their Polite Riot! return in main support, and The Small Mercies shall also be bringing their DIY derision along to get things going. That be a lot of fun for free!

For thems that favour the art-rockier side of things Sonic Midwife have a show in support of Love Music Hate Racism at Brixtons grooviest grogshop The Windmill. The lineup is quite simply the shit; Popular Workshop, Ten City Nation, Nebraska and Kunk are all set to slay, plus Subliminal Girls'll be spinning tunage to tear things up all the more. Tidy! £4 door tax, with a slice of your dollar going towards the Love Music Hate Racism fund.

So take yo pick friends!

Another Crazy Weekend...

Well friends, we're glad to report that the cockamamie crew at Creative Routes have almost completed their preparations, this Saturday (19th July) Bonkersfest 2008 is go!

Bigger, bizarrerer and far more bananas then ever before this year arts/music lunacy looks set to be the best yet! Taking place around Camberwell Green and at the Red Star , there'll be mucho madcap things to see and do, and all for freeeee!

Click on the flyers below or visit the Bonkersfest site for the full skinny, you can expect to see all manner of musical acts, poetry, comedy, alternative cabaret, improv story telling, crackpot creativity and general clowning around. As the organisers themselves state, it shall be 'a day of bonkers celebrations for everyone - bonkers or not'. Madnotes! Things start at mid day and end when the final reveller gets sectioned...

Mannerly Melee!

WooWoo! Transport enthusiast Punk Rock legends Eastfield return to Polite Riot tonight, our free weekly punky soiree. Get down to New Cross Inn for 8ish to catch this bad boy bash, which also features Germanic punk pickers Garden Gang and local legends Johnny Deptford. Suwueeeeeeeet! Phil Music Mania will also be in tow to spin the discs between bands, extra incentive to swing by this free show!

Double Bill Bill!!

S'up sausages? Enjoying the lunchtime sun we trust?

As this glorious Friday afternoon fades into night it's time to head for the The Cross Kings in, errr, Kings Cross for another exuberant slice of..... Club Rockfeedback! Now in it's fifth outing of fantastic indie ensemble, tonight's totem to tripping the light fantastic shall be all the more special for two reasons. Reason first, those lovely, yelpy melody munching William ragamuffins shall be playing. Woop Woop! Reason second, the whole fanfare is being filmed for screening on T4 Music! Pow, zap, whap! Get your good duds on and get on down with your bad self, show starts at 8 and also features Eugene McGuinness, Post War Year and Gideon Conn.

Then on Tuesday (15th July) with the weekend firmly behind us we'll all be off to watch the old William again, this time at Buffalo Bar. Tis Club Artrocker and aslo features Albinis amours Popular Workshop plus Maths Class and Heels Catch Fire! Free entry for members, get yo' internet ass over to the Artrocker site and sign up. We'll see you all for pre drink drinks in the Wetherspoons up the road.

The William debut album 'Self In Fiction' is in shops and online now by the way. Look how pretty the cover is below. Buy it. It will make the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end, excite your whole body beyond description, it really should come with a 'Caution: May Cause Leaking' sticker. It's that good. Full review to follow.

In further William news, we're on a roll now so why quit?, this page recently directed you to vote for said indie legends in some new Converse created music download thingy. Anyways, they won the vote by an astounding 82%, further proving their brill brilliance. How nice. Their prize is inclusion on a new Artrocker comp that will be circulated to nearly a trillion kids at the forthcoming Underage Festival. There'll be more news on this here site and on Artrocker soon, I'm just sure of it...

Polite Riot! You Slags!!

With nary a moment for liver recuperation Polite Riot! continues at New Cross Inn tomorry (Wednesday 9th July) with it's usual unusual punk party perfection. This week Aberdeen's finest skartist The Hijacks are to headline, playing as part of their current 'Brass Not Bombs' tour. Do yourself a favour and bring an extra £3 with you, pick up a copy of their debut 'Free.Your.Mind' E.P - it's the mutts! Wonk Unit are in main support, promising ever further craziness then. The opening slot sees the return of F-BATS, ska army party pogoists extraordinaire!

Free entry kiddies, get there for 8ish...

Mad(e) In Deptford!!!!

Regular visitors to this site will be aware of our oft stated and very real love of London's grimy and glorious creative centre Deptford. On the surface the place is a bit of a toilet, but if you scratch that surface you'll find it quite a charming, hugely individual area with a beating and perfervid artful heart. True say. So, to prove our passions for this most astounding of towns we've been asked to get involved in the running of this years Made In Deptford festival, yipee!

Although the official start of the festivities is on Saturday 5th July, in the ever prevailing spirit on artistic independence (ha!) there are two pre-party parties taking place on Friday 4th July, one at The Nesto and one at D'Arms. Full listings of all that be going down will be on our Events page very soon, or you can check out the fests official site for further news.

All of the regular venues will be hosting shows, plus there's loads of open studio exhibitions, The BLD Arts Trail plus our collection of exhibitions and digital galleries, a processions, an outdoor stage, food, fairs, markets and tons more! All that Deptford has to offer will be on show in all its myriad manners and nearly all the events are free. Come get involved!!!

Sut Mae?

Prynhawn da Saeson a y Cynfyd!

WELSH MY FRIENDS!!! Truly the language of the Gods! The near voweless frenzy above basically just means hello, so for the benefit of all you non-Welsh tongued throng, Hello!

Sorry we ain't updated this page much this week, we've all been rather busy post-Porno taking care of Biznitch. Capital B. First up there was Polite Riot! on Wednesday to distract us, our wondrous weekly punk ting at the Inn, then we were all busy liddle BLD bitches taken care of loads of merchandise orders for fair folk like Bretton and The Display Team. Yay!

So anyways, back to now. There be ting 'appening all over town tonight, but as almost always, the best show be down South East. The Fox is playing host to Attack Of The 50ft Woman, a night of joyous celebration of all things cuntrock. Three female fronted kick-ass-and-take-names ROCKKKKKK bands shall be in appearance - The Johnsons, Bonsai Kittens and Grim Hilde! Fundangle starts in a couple hours, 8pm and entry is £3 for susauge, £1 for holes. Click on the coot ickle doogie wog for further details....

Bards, Bricks and Pandas at Porno!

Wowee, seems like only a couple days ago we were doffing our caps in adieu to Heath at The Young Pornographers Broadcasting Service, but it's been nearly a month so it's time for Porno's imminent return. Make way for the aural arousal!

This month we are joined by acoustic ballardtastic songsmith Theo Bard, Russell Joslin's talent shack act Pretty Bricks and electro sex minkies My Panda Shall Fly! Plus DJ Fucking Listen To Me shall be there with BLD VJs, together with our ever expanding artsy/craftsy augmentation! Blamo!

Venue: The Birds Nest, Deptford. Date: Tuesday 24th June, 8PM. Entry Fee: Free, Gratis, Fuck All!

No Such Thing As A Free Launch!!

Yipeeee, hurrah, undalay, kabloooy and other such excited sentiments!!! BLD stalwarts/lovers/friends/champions and long term co-conspirators William release their début album on Monday 7th July!!!! Available through Tough Love Records this shiny little disc of pleasure is destined for a special place in all our hearts/heads/ears/iPods, tis a finely formed document of a swelling talent’s take on this here skinny shindig of ours…

In accordance to the rules of making a great record a party of equal attribute needs to be held, so mark off Friday (20th June) in your diaries. Spawning ground of many a great and chaotic binge The Fox has been chosen as the container for said party, and if the presence of William ain’t enough, Pop Shop, Honeytrap and Kill Raimis (why we no have a profile for them?) shall be flouting sensible volume levels in joyous celebration. Simon #9 and Catholic Girls shall also be acting as deck hands, expect records, revolvers and the usual intimate revelry, with an extra exultation for your buck. Doors are at 8, bribe Barry with £4 and pass you shall. .

You should go listen to the new William track we’ve just shoved onto our site, tis the smallest morsel of the brilliance that awaits on their album. Artrocker are all over it like a nipple on a tit, so too are the guys at Converse, who through their latest attempts at cool by association marketing are offering the track for free download from their site. Sign up, vote for William as the bestest band in a good bracket, download the tune for free and go about your day. Then get your friends to do the same and help keep an amazing band in free trainers. Tis good to do your bit.

Cor Blimey, It's Julian Woodward!

Howdy.

The dirty and delicious district that is Deptford has been a source of inspiration to its denizens since the early days, and long shall this tradition continue. Commensurable to the ugly/beautiful features of the most intriguing party guests, she's a toxic muse, but a muse nonetheless. The latest artist to be driven to capture and embody her spirit is Julian Woodward of the Cor Blimey Arts co-operative in their current exhibition 'Neighbourhood Watch'.

Opening to the public on Saturday 14th June and running through till the 28th their gallery holds 'paintings and 3D computer-generated images of urban landscape inspired by observations of places in Deptford' as well as work inspired by Greenwich and Clapton Pond locations. Entry is free and the exhibition will open daily from 12 until 6, check out the Cor Blimey Arts site for up to date info on all their activities.

Panda Power Birthday Banquet!

All hail Jean~Genie, promoter and purdy party girl extra ordinaire (she be the genius behind Panda Power Parties), tis time for another of her legendary birthday bashes! The Red Star in Camberwell plays host to this most comely of occasions on Friday 6th June, and celestial shall the celebrations be!

Stuart James, Le Shark, Son Of A Bitch, Dynamo Garage and Young Hearts will be gracing the stage with their presents (see what we did there?), plus white hot DJ action from Rory Moronik, My Panda Shall Fly, Girl U No It's True, Deptford Noise Team and Honey Weasel! All this fanciful festivity for four quids, or a mere three for pesky students! Get there for 7 and bring cake. Lots of cake.

Do A Little Dunce!

A little late with the update, ears are still ringing from Blah Blah Blah and Dan Le Sac Vs. Scroobius Pip's shitkicker sets at Rar! evelast, booo us.

Tonight though, Flesh Dunce friends, sees our favourite école d'art sans fronteers fiends bring their shizzle to the New Cross Inn. It's gonna be well cake! Methodist Centre, Death Of London and Maiovvi & Fortuna on stage plus DJ sets from Bruce McClure and the Flesh Dunce crew, all for a petite £3. 8 till 2, you knows what to do...

Sad Departures/Happy Arrivals!

Phat props, thanks, hugs and handjobs to all who came down to Porno last night, was an orgiastic jazzslap funcase of flava! Love and nibbles go out ot Grim Hilda (hot rock action!), Jess Fostekew (hilarious lady!) and Heath (golden god!), magic was made... Was a stylish send off for young Stephen Heath, who returned to LA this afternoon much to the upset of everyone who's saw his recent shows. Fear not though, his inevitable return ain't too far away, a September tour is currently being booked and shall be elucidated unto nearer the time...

As always tought things rumble onwards with nary an instant for Heath hankerings. As I write this Polite Riot! is kicking it at New Cross Inn, Dead City Stereo will be on at 11, go see!

Manana, Thursday 29th, marks the arrival of &, the latest venture from South East wunderkinds Kate & Tristan. & is a new boutique/venue/haunt/hangout that will be 'profiling 40+ brands from within the realms of Fashion, Art, Music, Publications and Design. Some of our favourites to expect will be Tatty Devine, Rodnik, Illustrated People, Dickies, Elisenda, Cheap Mondays, Gallows, Party Shank, Andy Forshaw, Ann-Marie Mullarkey, Hannah Westwood, Kate Moross, Bad Idea, Photoworks & Chap.' & is located right next to New Cross Inn and in celebration of it's launch there's a perdy little party planned for tomorrow night. As well as the excellent selection of wares on offer there'll also be accapella hip hop, acoustic rock, electric giggles, fire poi. jugglers, drinks, dancing and general debauchery! Plus an after party at the Inn with DJs and more drinkies running through till 2am. Jubbles!

As if that ain't enough to keep all busy Kate & Tristans promo network NXP are set to take over The Albany in Deptford on Friday 30th for the latest instalment of their all ages club extravaganza Rar! Shit hot line up as always, Dan Le Sac Vs. Scroobius Pip, Blah Blah Blah, My Passion, YouLoveHerCozShesDead plus DJs, guest MCs and all kinda crazy tings! Tis a £5 in from 7pm. Groovytimes!

Tis Almost Adieu...

So as most of y'all know South East London has been blessed by the presence of L.As finest acoustic rocker Heath for the last couple weeks, and emotional it has been! Alas, his time with us is nearly done, for now anyhow, just one more week of partying left until we are all bereft....

He has an afternoon show at The Windmill on Sunday 25th that'll be worth a butchers, and then the final farewell show will be:

The Young Pornographers Broadcasting Service continues on Tuesday 27th May with a newly updated lineup! As well as Mr. Heath, the comedic delights of Jessica Fostekew and our own Phil Licks, there'll be more delightfully edgy performance from The Lab Theatre Collective plus music from Grim Hilda! Fresh farewell festivities for free at The Birds Nest starting at 8.

There's a shitload of shows to tide you over til then though...

Polite Riot! is at New Cross Inn mañana (Wed 21st) for a show with The Apostates, Sounds Of Swami and Terminal Decline, free entry, cheap beer and the usual blithe punkorific merriment.

Also on Wednesday Utrophia's current exhibition continues at their artspace as well as at Deptford Properly. Entitled 'Six Double Header Donjeros', it's a showcase of new drawings and objects by Crentin Quisp, check out the site for the full skinny.

Saturday 24th sees Kunt & The Gang and Raw Poo team up for a show at The Purple Turtle in Camden, plus Ten Foot Nun have a great sounding night at The Brief in Croydon.

Sunday is Night Bus To Catford at The Fox, Two Bobs ska/northen soul joint and Monday you can see Docksud play a charity show at New Cross Inn.

Wew! Plenty to occupy your brainspace then. See you at some, one or all of the above...

You Pays Your Money...

.. you takes your choice. Fucking loads on over the weekend as always...

Tonight (Friday 16th) chums Kooba Radio and Panda Power are gangbanging it up at the New Cross Inn with a show featuring Chuck Farley, The Special Relationship, Si Jubb Carruthers and Goodtimes Goodtimes along with Kooba DJs and sexy visuals by us. Cock-a-hoop! £4 in from 7.30 till late..

Meanwhile 2 Bob are at The Fox (where else??) with some hotcock rock action from Snish, King Of Conspiracy and the ubiquitous and beautiful Stephen Heath! £3 in from 8ish.

Saturday those fancy Flesh Dunce folk will be in fine form at The Bunker Club from 10. They've got Cylob and Trencher doing their wild thing, all for a mere £3. Tidy!

There's loads more going on which we shall report on later, have a fun Friday!

Riots & Revelries...

Good weekend then kiddywinks? Mucho ting was 'appening, hope you spent it wisely...

As always we're back at the New Cross Inn on Wednesday for this weeks sexytime punk show case Polite Riot! Zombie pychobilly punk oddities Bill Rebel are bringing their freakshow with, in tow are the slightly less scary but indeed more ska-y Beat The Red Light plus acoustic anger from Apologies, I Have None. Free fun and games from 8, tight!

There's been some exciting developments of late about BLD's involvement in a number of local festivals over the summer. Already confirmed is a film event as part of next months Brockley Max festival, plus we're also hoping to get down and dirty with this years Made In Deptford fest in July. Loads of info to follow...

Shit is Real!

Grrrr. Meant to update this page much earlier so I could tell you about Heath at The Fox tonight, but alas I've spent my evening eating pasta, napping and wanking into various sized cups. Now that I'm chucking dust it's back to work...

Weekend Shit:

Friday - Theo 13:53 and friends are throwing Ska-ty at The Bunker Club in Deptford . It's kinda like a party but with ska DJs, bands, bouncing and fun. Cannae find all the details but it prob starts at around 9ish, costs a few quid to get in and runs through till the early a.m.

Saturday - Further punk/ska/indie ting at The Birds Nest and New Cross Inn, all day action for your punk buck. Rotten Luck are at The Nest from 3pm with their latest D.I.Y alldayer featuring Defcon Zero, Spanner, The KADT, Intensive Care, The Morons, Violent Fuckwits and Rabies Babies. Free entry, vegan food, Synthesis Distro, all in aid of the Southwark Homeless Information Project. Tidy!

Later on that eve the Digital Fusion City Showcase Auditions take place at NX Inn. Doors are at 8 and they want a cool £3 to see you through them, but what you'll get is Letters From London, Shaka Henderson, Bogus Gasman, Toy! Toy!, Excentral Tempest and The Misterons. Not bad eh?

Sunday - Swing by the hangover session at The Fox for some Two Bob fun in the way of Russell Joslin, Robert Rorison and Had Armistead - lovely free acoustic ting to melodiously medicate your mood. Mmmmmmm, medication....

Free PR for Stephen Heath!

As if tonights Polite Riot! wasn't gonna be shit kick titty lick fuckmybumery galore, SE London's favourite star spangled superstar Stephen Heath shall now also be playing. This on top of the hi-fucking-larious Captain Hotknives (classic song title 'Johnny Cash Converter'), Sonofabitch's electro-punk eclectic shread/scream action (classic press quote 'Life's a Sonofabitch') and garage punk greatness from This Ambulance Contains Skittles (classic E.P available free at the show tonight!) shall make for a wondrous Wednesday! Entry is free from 8 at New Cross Inn, plus cheap beers, DJs and disco dancing til 2. Gravycake!

And The Winner Is....

So there has been some mention on this site of late of a filmic collaboration between our own fair Sarah Petherbridge plus the skills of Roman Rappak, Ian Simpson, Patrick Lyons and a few other talented folks. A few weekends ago they made a wonderful short as part of the Sci-Fi London 48 Hour Challenge, check out it's dazzling form below:

For more info on the competition check out the Sci-Fi London site, they announced the winners yesterday and..... deep breath..... the above bit of brilliance came second! There were over 86 gillion entries, the film that pipped them to the post was indeed a thing of beauty, but we're throwing our proud congratulations at all involved! Well done kids!

Other Stuffs:

We finally welcome to the fold the uber-talented Jenna Foxton - one of the most natural talents we've encountered. Been trying to get on onto the site for a while now but her international jet set life has denied us the pleasure until now. Expect to hear a lot more from us about this budding talent!

The Display Team bring their 'tard party pronk brilliance to our music pages, fresh back from a kick ass European tour and with an excellent new record to pimp...

And there's more new musical goodness coming your way courtesy of Bournemouth's indie merrymakers Dutch Husband. We've got them coming down for Porno at some point soon, so lots to look forward too.....

Instructions For The Weekend:

Step 1: Wake up, go to The Fox

Step 2:Enjoy music. Imbibe stimulants. Engage in great conversation.

Step 3: Buy CDs

Step 4: Leave The Fox at closing time.

Step 5: Repeat.

Poems, Pornography & Pog!!

The world keeps turning, friends, and this here little scene of our rumbles delightfully onwards with levity, wit and excitation! Later in the week sees Whiskey Versus Faith and chums kick it at Polite Riot, The Prize Is Shite with a whopping £70 jackpot and the return of the king to these fair shores, the lovely, lewd and lascivious Mr. Stephen Heath!!! Grandtastic news indeed, hymens and heartstrings are aflutter! I'd fucking do him and I'm 85% straight. I think that makes me gay from the ankles down or something, but I'm getting off the point here, which is that.....

Porno is Tonight (Tuesday 29th)!!! Blaaaaaw! Dr. Duncan Reekie will be bringing his wondrous film/performance/poetry prurientcy with him, plus there's music from our new nylon stringed punkish pals Pog! We'll also be screening a ton of wonderful new film works that have come our way, including the world premier of our soon-to-be-award-winning piece 'Until Further Notice'! A jam packed night of giggles then, definitely no shits. Get to The Birds Nest for 8, don't be late!!

Poems, Pornography & Pog!!

The world keeps turning, friends, and this here little scene of our rumbles delightfully onwards with levity, wit and excitation! Later in the week sees Whiskey Versus Faith and chums kick it at Polite Riot, The Prize Is Shite with a whopping £70 jackpot and the return of the king to these fair shores, the lovely, lewd and lascivious Mr. Stephen Heath!!! Grandtastic news indeed, hymens and heartstrings are aflutter! I'd fucking do him and I'm 85% straight. I think that makes me gay from the ankles down or something, but I'm getting off the point here, which is that.....

Porno is tomorrow!!! Blaaaaaw! Dr. Duncan Reekie will be bringing his wondrous film/performance/poetry prurientcy with him, plus there's music from our new nylon stringed punkish pals Pog! We'll also be screening a ton of wonderful new film works that have come our way, including the world premier of our soon-to-be-award-winning piece 'Until Further Notice'! A jam packed night of giggles then, definitely no shits. Get to The Birds Nest for 8, don't be late!!

New Getliffe Release!!

Yes, yup and yay! This is a happy day! BLD brethren and uber-popular pencil-for-hire, the mighty Chris Getliffe (full title) has a new comic in the shops! Woop-de-fucking-woop!!!!! Here's the press release:

"The Little Bunny Book Of Music By Getliffe is now on national release, all scathing and bitter like, but in full colour. It's a collection of the strips serialized in Who's Jack magazine, and a few fresh ones to boot. It's available in most UK cities and selected towns, as well as online, Check www.KitchenDistrict.com for full stockest list, and samples."

Maximum safety! We've just updated the fellas profile also, so hurry over check it oooot!

Stunning Headline!!

Ahhh, tis cold out and and in, manflu prevails and all sorts of ails, hangovers, headaches, heartbreaks.... lions, tigers and bears, oh my! Lets get through today however we can in readiness for the wonderment that is Saturday night, but first a word from my wife, the lovely Ms Petherbridge...

Look we made a movie! Couple weekends ago we entered a film competition run by Sci-Fi London, the resulting film is soo shiting fucking great they shortlisted it! I made the whole thing all be myself and acted in it and wroted it and shot it and did the music with no help from Roman Rappak, Joe Lanigan, Dimitri Spakilaticus, Ian Simpson, Patrick Lyons or Daniel Potter. I made them up. Watch!

 

Enough from her, though the film is great and fingies crossed they win the star prize. The comp is judged by John Landis don't you know! Good luck Babes!

Back to Saturday nights tight bright excite(ment)! Film fans hurrah! Flixation returns tonight to The Horse Hospital in Russell Square, fuck yeah! These guys run just about the finest underground cinema club in London, their description of 'No-budget underground cinema, video mash up, amateur film Art, performance and music' says it all really. The line up this time features work from Chris Getliffe, Daniel Bell, Gregg Butler, Harriet Fleuriot, Matt Smith and Clive Shaw (a distinguished dude I ain't seen in a while and am looking forward to winking at later. Read it again, it says WINKING). All this plus performance BLDs own Poet Lauriet Dr Duncan Reekie (who plays porno at the end o' the month...) and DJ Needle Dropper. Do It!!!!!! Tis £5 in and starts at 8pmpmpmpmpmpmpm!

If music is more your medicine for the 'ning then get yo asses to The Fox for another exquisite Kooba Radio showcase. Bretton shall be busting it, along with Captain Kidd, Darlings Of The Split Screen and Kooba DJs. Kicks off at 7, £3 in. Blamo!

Blehm Blehm Blehm Bleeeeemmmm Blen Blemmm Blah Blah Blem.......Dun Dun Dun!!

Dramatic turn in events saw South East London's krazy art school drop out kids fall on their asses yesterday with the news of a new kind of disability allowance for "creative types". It has unfolded that due to their complete lack of knowledge, poor grasp on tax returns and the letter 12 there will be a £2.50 grant awarded to all who qualify into the bracket of "creative". More information about this matter can be obtained from Kevin Carney @ The Birds Nest who told the B.L.D of this news spin yesterday afternoon!

Tonight will be seeing the launch of Nathan Persad's greatest wada wada work to date, get to The Fox and scream and shout! The Nathan Persad Show will be in full flow!

Also tonight and every Thursday is The Prize Is Shite!!! £1 to play cash money to be won. Could be you or that other guy .........At the DEPTFORD ARMS!!!

Friday:
'Not a first on band' is a commonly used phrase for musicians these days. No-one wants to go on first. Going on first makes you the equivalent of the kid in school with a silver trail down his/her tatty piss wreaking jersey sleeve. I personally couldn't give a shite or a bollox! So tonight will see the aptly titled "We're Not A First On Band" starring S.E London's most handsome band (surely not a tired epithet yet??) BRETTON! Opening for them they have Fruit Machine Blues, reformed for one night only to celebrate Mr. C's 40th birthday, a rare chance for a rock 'n roll revival!

Alright Alright!

Last Wednesday saw Polite Roit with Frank Butcher And The Slags, Wob and Pog - three really amazing bands and salt of the earth lads and lassies to boot! Pog front man Paul Stapleton is not only a talented music man but also witty as fuck comic artist! Check out www.pogscribbles.org for more art and a wee animation that I do love as it made me giggle and think too. That's a good all rounder there! A new Pog profile up if you want to check them out bloods....

So Tuesday (15th April) will be seeing the return of Pog to the 12 Bar Club, Denmark Street, playing with Hungry Dog Brand and Wob, amongst others. Hungry Dog Brand are another local wonderment, we just listened to their album Boy Meet Dog which has overtones of Jilted John and undertones of Sultans of Ping. The bare bones of punk attitude without the dickhead non-sense in these bands is our cup of tea, I shall be getting a small army down to see this one!!!

other news.....

Oh my God it's The Nathan Persad (King of South East Music Scene) Album launch this Thursday!!! Girls, get your best pants ready for the chucking and have smelling salts at the ready coz it's gonna be a wet one! Head to The Fox! Dress to impress !

Dun dun dun Dun Dun dun Dun!

Wednesday sees South East London's most loved punk night POLITE RIOT!!!! once again descending upon the New Cross Inn. It's free so no complaining, and this week we will be having Pog, Wob and Frank Butcher And The Slags! They're good and will make you happy and fulfilled in you life, not just any night offers that kind of satisfaction. I advise your going, it's for the best.

Thursday it's the motherfucking PRIZE IS SHITE! at the motherfuckin Deptford Arms! £40 cash money to be won, £1 to play. Loads of new teams came on down last week, the star prize was taken home by three wise fellows known as Suddenly Feeling Old - fun was had by all! There's loud noises, moving pictures, Les Pennis and Carol Whoresformen and booze and money to be won. Why go anywhere else when you could walk away with bucks, beer or at the very least a mild expantion of your general knowledge? And don''t forget all the weird and stinkin locals we've all come to endure!!!

Friday Popular Workshop + Accidents Never Happen + The Situationists at The Fox!!!!!!! £3 from 8 (free if you give Mark Thomas a B.J) I love these bands so much I just shat me pants!!!! I'm gonna clean myself up and then I'll see you there you pegs!

In Other News:

Matt Sargent has a brand new site. You can comment on all of his work too. It's very cool. www.mattsargent.com

Myself and co. have entered in the 48 Sci-Fi Challenge - an intense movie making experience that we bested over the weekend. You can view our flick on YouTube and if it wins we gets a camera so we can create more stuff on film! Yays!

Ann-Marie won't let me play my tin whistle when she's in the house :(

The Display Team are off on tour to promote their new album (it's very good!)

The Sequins have split up, booo.

Growing Ranks And Riots...

Before we get to the real news of wad gwan in the world o' BLD tis imperative that we give a fat shout out to Miss Ann-Marie Mullarkey, it's her birthday today and she be off to Disneyland. Miss you we shall!

Anyways, now the news proper. We wanted to give you a run down of all the new folk that have joined our community of late, our ranks are ever swelling and there be loads of fresh talent out there that we delight in bringing to your attention! So far this year we've added a whole bunch of great new Musicians as well as a wonderful selection of Artists, Photographers and Film Makers for your delectation, here's a summary...

Muzak:

On the punk side of things we've welcomed Raw Poo, Griswalds and Whiskey Versus Faith to our pages, all of whom have played at our weekly Oi experiment Polite Riot! at the New Cross Inn. Between them their tunes cover the (un)usual themes of fighting, fucking, alien mistresses and Abba covers. Dope!

We're also chuffed to see the arrival of House Of Cosy Cushions and Grand Pocket Orchestra to these shores, two incredible, exciting and wonderfully original acts from Dublin. Both are kinda genre benders and both should be huge!

Some phresh new electro-wizardry courtesy of Project Serendipity, who played a blinder at Porno recently, plus Cloudcub, who we're determined to tempt down from their North London knockabout all too soon...

Acoustic balladry and beauty have come our way from Theo Bard, Artur Dyjecinski and Moss & Jo, all great acts that have helped instil a lovely laid back lethargy into our offices!

Then came the undefinables; acoustic-rock-uber-insanity from David Goo & The Variety Band, joyous pop grace and fascination from Their Hearts Were Full Of Spring and beats/poetry and kick ass guitar from Responsible Adults. Tis grand to have them all on board!

Scott Wolfe's photography profile has been with us for a short while now and his work is proving mighty popular. As are the gorgous illustrations from Si Clark and Xeena Cooper, two more artists that we are hoping to exhibit soon.

Wew! Think that's all for now, but if you haven't already checked out the skills of the above then please do so. Be great to hear what you think!

Assuming you can tear yourselves away from our site for the night we have three sweet show this week, so plenty reasons to be cheerful...

Manana (2nd April) is Polite Riot! at the New Cross Inn, another free night of punk rock pugilism featuring The Zapoteks, Love & A .45 and Just Panic. 8-1 with cheep booze, DJs and general dirty good times!

Thursday (3rd April) we're back at the Deptford Arms with our always wonderful pub quiz show The Prize Is Shite, £1 to play! This week the jackpot grows to £50, plus there'll be bonus and boobie prizes, sequins and sexxiness starting at 8!

Friday night we shall be doing laundry and eating vegetables because.... drum roll........ Saturday night (5th April) sees us return to The Arms for our second Polite Riot! show of the week! Best line up yet! Billy No Mates, Jakal, Rabies Babies and Second In Line!!! Serious, we said !!! Four fuck hot bands for free! Starts at 8, as always...

*Another Catchy Heading From B.L.D!*

Thank you thank you thank you thank you! to one and all who headed down to see our sexy spectacle that was Porno last night. Our prettiest stage yet! Props to Responsible Adults, Jess Fostekew and Project Serendipity for their blinding sets, and thanks to The Lab Theatre Collective for yet another engaging evening of new theatrical talent!

A little advice on what to do with your week if you would like to recover successfully from the long weekend….

*Tonight* (and Every Wednesday) - Polite Riot! at the N.X. Inn £ree!

Every week a grand show - fast becoming South East’s most famous punk evening that happens at the Inn every Wednesday!!!


*Thursday* (and Every Thursday) - The Prize Is Shite at the Deptford Arms. £1 to play.

Win large amounts of cash money! Plus booze and the respect of your peers!


*Friday* South of Heaven at The Fox in Lewishambles. £3 in from 8PM.

Scary sssscreamy hardcore ting courtesy of Decibel Hell. They have Oryx, Repugnant Inebriation and Rosewest set to tear you new ones!

Also, we have a brand new profile for The B.L.D’s new favourite band Their Hearts Were Full Of Spring. These guys are truly uplifting and unmistakably enchanting, go have a listen on their profile.

So that’s it kiddo’s . Do check out our listings for more erm… listings, and look both ways before crossing the dance floor . OH yeah!!!

*Clever Eye Catching Title*

Right-o. So here we are at our favorite time of the month! It's B.L.D's ovulation time that we have lovingly entitled The Young Pornographers Broadcasting Service! The usual crap everywhere at The Birds Nest in Deptford, and us dressed as spats........

So tonight we will have from 8.....

8:00 -9:30 The Lab Theater Collective will be bringing you more theatrical theater theatributes. A group of young performers that have truly blown us lot away with there no bull-shit approach to new theater. Certainly refreshing change from your usual pub performance.

9:30 - 10:00 Project Serendipity! blips and bleeps electro jazz wizard from the future, past and Scotland. A must see to believe!

10:00 - 10:30 We shall be showing a selection of movies from Ironbox Films, Matthew McGuchan and Ben Henderson plus a few extra specials we have selected for your eyeballs and ear's's's's pleasure!

10:30 - 11:00 Comedy stylings from Jessica Fostekew. Amazing new rising star of the comedy scene, see her tonight before she takes flight. The BBC love her don't you know!

11:00 - 11:30 Responsible Adults. YES!!! YESS!!! The inventors of music and the virtual gig! They will be yessing you ears this evening and making the world a more entertaining planet of dreams and YES!!!!!!!!! They're good is all....

That savage bastard Deptford Dave shall also be on hand to spin tunes and scrape knuckles all night, soap on a rope! All this action for

FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tommororow it's S.E London most Wednesdayed and New Crossed punk evening, Polite Riot! Tottle along and have a jolly nice time for free!

Oh yeah and new profile from Raw Poo and soon to come Their Hearts Were Full Of Spring!

Porno's Guardian Angel??

Right then kiddywinks, tis time to get excited! The Young Pornographers Broadcasting Service is back on Tuesday (25th March) with extra special flavour plus some additional joys and wonders!

Another mouthwatering melange of art/music/film/performance/theatre fun awaits and all for the funtastic price of £Fuck All! Onstage this month we have BLDs favourite words/beats/guitar combo Responsible Adults (whose uber-producer is a certain Fruitbat of Carter U.S.M fame!), caustic performance poetry form Porno's very own poet laureate Dr. Duncan Reekie and blips and bleeps Boy Wonder Project Serendipity! We'll also be screening some fresh new film work from Matthew McGuchan, some great stuff from Ironbox Films, puppetry perfection from Ben Henderson and his lovely Wife plus loads loads more! As if that wasn't enough The Lab Theatre Collective shall once again be setting up stage to bring another excellent, original performance piece. A creative orgy indeed then! Get to The Birds Nest for 8 to join in!

So to the 'additional joys' bit - we've been told a bunch of jornalists shall be in attendance of our crepuscular creation, each possibly wanting to scribe us into their relative publications. Whispers have reached our ears that The Guardian shall be among their number! We need a super huge turn out for this event, so if the line up above ain't enough to 'suade you from the sofa, how about offers of free drugs/booze/sex/comic books/cakes*, whatever your vice may be? Come down let us show you a good time and we shall be indebted to you good sorts in all kinds of ways!

* the BLD do not endorse the excessive use of drugs or cakes. Drunken sex while reading comic books is the shit though!

Tuesday ……That’s All!

It’s all about Tuesday, Tuesday is the day of the week between Monday and Wednesday. The name comes from Middle English Twisday, from Old English Tiwes dæg, named after the Nordic god Tyr, who was the equivalent of the Roman war god Mars, and Greek god Ares.

Talking about Roman……

Tuesday Bretton are playing at Buffalo Bar and it’s going to be dreadfully fantastic! I’m going to take my still embarrassed head there, nothing, not even facing people I could have potentially puked on will keep me away. It’s free to in if you sign up to Artrocker, or otherwise a fiver.

 

How Embarrassing!

Apparently, the best way to deal with the horror of not remembering been carried up the stairs by Danny Parr's Dad is by putting it on the front page of the BLD web site. That way I can just hand people the url instead of explaining myself.

I have no recollection of vomiting in my hair. I have no recollection of getting my bits out (there's shit pictures). I do however recollect telling Punk Joe how I hate the world, especially punks. Walking home with Phil and Getliffe not having a clue where I was and ringing Roman and Meave to aks directions when I couldn’t even speak through my thick pissed façade.

So from the horrible story I’ve been told and what I remember I’m terribly embarrassed. So just in case sorry…….. Punk Joe, Alex Smith, Carl 2bob, sorry Jenna, sorry Ciara, Sarah , sorry Vienna, sorry Mani, & sorry Danny & Family, sorry Markus from Their Hearts, that guy in the shed, sorry Ann-Marie sorry Stu & Matt, Ian Simpson, sorry Bretton, sorry William, sorry Ken Liu, sorry world, sorry you the reader, sorry staff from The Fox, sorry Dad, sorry Jeff, sorry liver, sorry bus driver on route 47, sorry Breanna, sorry God, sorry sorry self.

And from this day forth I shall never go out and party my ass off to the point of defecating myself in front of people’s parents.

Other News...

Has anyone seen Dan fromWilliam, Mark needs him in for practice.

Ann-Marie Mullarkey went all the way to Canary Wharf and didn’t get a Yorkshire pudding.

Supple is a shit word, it sounds made up?!

Philip’s penis.

Go see Bretton on Tuesday. They're a very good band.

 

Thar Be Cures For Blues!

Newses:

Tonight-o! Polite Riot! at New Cross Inn, £Free As Fuck!

This weeks sterling lineup includes psilocybin fans Cubensis, jingoism anti-proponents No Flag along with 2 Sick Monkeys! Spunky punk fun from 8...

The Prize Is Shite! - Londons one and only pub quiz show has now moved to Thursday. Every Thursday. £1 to play, this weeks cash prize is £40. There's questions and video rounds and Old Yeller will be there and if you arrive early I'll say hello to you!

Friday fun comes courtesy of Rar! All ages adventures at The Albany with DJ Luck and MC Neat! £5 in from 6pm-11pm.

Then on Saturday there's further fuck-my-bumery in the form of Docksud at the NX Inn! They'll be joined by The Rank Deluxe, Public Service Announcers, The Gin Riots and Replicas, all this fun for £3! As if that wasn't to stuff your party sacks with fuck, that same night Kooba Radio are at The Fox with 8 Year Old Mum! Also playing are The Fighting Cocks, Space Heroes of the People and sets from Kooba DJs!

Gigs aside, Utrophia have egg eggsalad project to eggspand your eggtistic eggbilities. To descramble this eggcriptic messegg egg egg. It's very eggciting!

Tuesday Night Acoustic Funs!

So eyes and ears are being drawn eastwards tonight for two great shows featuring some fine female friends o' ours!

First up, BLDs newest additions Moss & Jo shall be swinging by the oddly named Biddle Bros Builders Ltd, a charming acoustic venue in Clapton. This freebie shindig kicks off at 8 and promises aural delights in abundance!

Meanwhile, over in Bethnal Green the ever wonderful Clare Portman will be joining a specially selected showcase at another curiously named bar, The Fym Fyg. The bill also features Black Market, Lamp Light, Paul Riely, Ty Baxter, Sturdy and host Krysten Cumming - not bad for a £5 entry! Get there for 7.30 for the commencement of this choral comeliness, full details at www.showcaselondon.co.uk.

Don't forget this tomorrow:

Go Get Yourselves To The Fox Tonight For Joy And Happy!

MEAN PAPPA LEAN!
GRAND POCKET ORCHESTRA!
NATHAN PERSAD! (the king of Deptford) & HANDSOME ADAM BRETTON!

Grand Pocket is fresh of the boat from Dublinia! I have been told from home (I'm Irish you idiots) they is as big as your Mum!! Pop bimbling happy tunes of joy and happy ('Odd Socks' in particular) They have successfully turned our office into a proper dancing monkey playground so I can't wait to see what chaos that will reign on The Fox this evening. Get there early to check em out. Nathan has never failed to effortlessly entertain our ding-a-ling's (hee-hee) and Mean Pappa Lean's Disco funk will shake us through till the late evening. I CAN'T FUCKING WAIT!!!!

I don't want to write about anything else 'coz in my mind nothing else matters............ oh except that the rest of B.L.D will be off saving the world from impeding toaster doom. Good luck Boys!

After thoughts....... Moss and Jo have a new profile . I like it ....will you?

What To Do What To Do?????!

It’s O.K, I’ve figured it all out!

Tonight! Panda Power Party at the Deptford Arms! From 7p.m £4/3 N.U.S
A Packed night of music, art and bright flashing lights amongst all the other pretty things that could happen. They have…. Guardians of the Ancient Wisdom, Excentral Tempest, Gideon Conn, My Panda Shall Fly, D.Js Jean Genie & Rory Moronik. The gallery at the Arms is a well kept little secret candle lit dungeon. Not like any gallery I’ve been to (I once went to the Tate with my school you see!) The Blue light District will be doing the visuals for the show, so wear you shades to stop you getting blinded by our grandnitude! Go and check the Events section for more of the beautiful magical details.

Also Tonight! Dirty Ska and Punk at The Birds Nest £Pay at the bar and receive beer! 8pm...
It’s Dirty at The Nest with Moral Dilemma, Visual Offense and The Volunteers! Frickin deadly line up for one of me favorite South East teeni weenie venues. Get your arse down and enjoy a night of quality bands. Please bare in mind the bar is located next to a rather bust road so keep you drunkards on a lead.

OH WOW TO SATURDAY!!!!! Get to The Fox and keep safe!!!

As I’m sure you were all aware it was meant to be me and Deptford’s pre-nup night with Their Hearts Were Full Of Spring, Grand Pocket Orchestra, art from Si Clarke and Beans on Toast. But alas the world may be coming to its bitter end and we have had to sacrifice the show to fight this grave evil! This may sound far fetched but for your ease I’ve drawn up some accurate diagrams. I hope you're sitting down…..

See at the core of the universe scientist have always told us it was molten rock and other melted particles. But how wrong could they have been. It’s actually been a rather large toaster generating huge amounts of heat since the beginning of known time on earth (explaining the reason for “global warming”). For thousands of years it’s been cooking some toast for God’s breakfast and also keeping the planet warm. If the toast pop’s …..well so will we! So we must burrow our way to the center of the earth & figure out a way to put in some giant fresh bread, take out the nearly ready slices inside, but without letting it pop. Suggestions are welcome to sarah@thebluelightdistrict.com.

Please find shelter at The Fox. Your prayers will be heard and help us all the way!

Figure 1…

Figure 2…

Lesson No. 3 - Don’t Gamble Your Oats For Your Coats!

Yo! Monday through Friday shall commence as so...

Monday: (that’s every Monday) The Prize Is Shite at D’Arms - £1 to play

Once again your favourite hosts Les Pennis and Carol Whoresformen will be bringing to you all manor of questions and in turn you give answers for a possible prize of booze and a whopping rollover your Mum of £90! That could buy you over 500 badges from The Blue Light District!! Fun starts at 8...

Tuesday:( not every Tuesday) Day trip to London Dungeons with my Uncle Nick! £25

My Uncle Nick spent many years in Iceland studying residue in cold Tupperware boxes. He found his millions when he discovered radiation was in fact a very efficient meat substitute for use in dog food. On his return to England he lost his fortune making far fetched investments in deranged lunatics with far out impossible ideas such “the Under Water Hair Dryer” and “Oatcake for Coats”. So yeah….. I’m treating him to a day off his spiral of misery at the London Dungeon for a cheery change!

Wednesday AHHHHHH: (That is every Wednesday) Polite Riot at the N.X.Inn. £Fuck All, 8pm.

I really like this night and plan to remember it by not taking any drinks the manager Phil offers; he attempted to murder me last week. This week we have The Griswalds, The Grizzley Ends and Specifically Toast! You wouldn't be a trout pouter (???) and miss out on the best punk night that was ever invented now would you???!!!!!!!

Wednesday SHHHHHHH:(Once a month) Motion Picture at The Fox £Nada.

Once again we will see this unsuspecting venue turn into a dimmed down cinema for the evening. Presented by 2bob and Urban Minds, their independent movie selection has never fa